AllisonYokeley.com

I am still hearing and seeing a a lot of fuss about this movie Tropic Thunder. I have often thought that I don’t need to get on that bandwagon because it doesn’t pertain to me. There are times that it hasn’t hit me yet that we have a child that people might call “retard” someday. He is still a baby in many ways because he is behind most 12 month olds. We have not even begun to see what kind of intellectual disabilities Josiah may have. He is the funnest baby we have had. He smiles and laughs all the time. It is hard to imagine at this point that people may look at him differently. Just tonight we were walking into WalMart. I noticed two ladies coming out as we were walking in. They were talking rather loudly. As they past us I noticed they changed to a whisper and I look up at them after they past us because of their change in voice tone.  It was so obvious that it caught my attention. When we got inside Joey immediately said to me, do you think that lady could tell. I wasn’t sure what he meant. He said that one of the ladies said to the other, “Did you see that baby?” I said that I did noticed their conversation changed to a whisper. I wasn’t sure what to make of that. I pointed out to Joey that unfortunately as Josiah gets older there will probably more of that going on , the staring and whispering. Then tonight while catching up on some blog reading I came across this video. It is what I needed after our situation in WalMart. Make sure you grab some Kleenex before you watch!

If you have been reading Joey’s blog you know that his back and neck have been bothering him. He finally went to the doctor at the end of last week and his doctor put him on steroids. Let just say Joey is not in the best of moods when on steroids. It requires lots of patience in dealing with him at home. With the family being sick the past two weeks and now with Joey in a bad mood most of the time from the medicine, I lost it a little last night. I told Joey I need a few hours for mommy to get out of the house by herself. You will not believe what he said to me!!! He actually said, “Well, why don’t you go to the funeral tomorrow and I will keep the kids.” A good friend of ours lost her mother last week. Yes we want to support her, but I can not fathom how Joey even thought for a second that going to a funeral would be a good break for me! This morning I was still a little upset about that conversation and I thought to myself, this will make a good sermon illustration for him someday.

After breakfast I was checking the blogs that I enjoy reading and you would not believe what I saw on the Church Planters Wives blog. This had me laughing so hard that I had tears in my eyes. Joshua and Jonah came running over to see what the commotion was about. I hope this will give you a laugh today!!

PS: I can thankfully say that Joey has never said anything, that I can remember, embarrassing about me in a sermon. He tends to share his own embarrassments which I find more humorous than my own.

A year ago this time Joey and I were in a patient room on the 4th floor at Forsyth Medical Center overcome with grief and sadness. We had just been told that the doctors were 99% sure that Josiah has Down syndrome but they were waiting on his FISH test to confirm it (the FISH test is the initial test that they do to check his DNA for the extra chromosome). We were then told that a sonogram confirmed that Josiah has a congenital heart defect and that he has several holes in his heart. Joey and I really didn’t talk much to each other that day, just cried. There were no words to say. The only way we got through the day was from our friends and family. The phone calls, visits, people praying with us, and a friend bringing a Mountain Dew Slushy from Sheetz. However, the Lord knows and only He knows best!! I can say today that we have made it through the first year and we are absolutely in love with Josiah.

Unfortunately, Josiah came down with croup today. Jonah had it last week, Johsua earlier this week, mommy got sick yesterday and Josiah today. This is his first sickness and our first family sickness. We had a wonderful time celebrating his birthday with family tonight for a cookout. Nothing is as good as Cousin Judy’s potato salad, Aunt Jane’s ice tea and Nana’s chocolate cake. If you would ask Uncle Wee he would say that the only thing that would have made it better would have been for me to make deviled eggs. Josiah did sleep through dinner but he woke up for birthday cake and presents. Of course no matter what any gives as a present Uncle JT always sends the best presents, but isn’t that what makes the coolest Uncle!

Tonight after the Joshua and Jonah went to bed I just held Josiah for awhile. I was so thankful to be in the recliner holding him. This time last year I was so scared of him especially with him in the NICU attached to the heart monitor with all the wires. On Sunday night when we got home from our summer family gathering of the Down Syndrome Support Network Joshua said to us that it wasn’t fair that Josiah was more special than him. He asked us why he didn’t have Down syndrome. I hope Joshua will always feels this way about Josiah and that he doesn’t let the world teach him differently.

I know I have used the word “retard” before when joking around with friends.  I know for a fact that  I have called Joey a retard when he is trying to be funny and I think he looks ridiculous.  Now that we have a child with an intellectual disability that word is not funny anymore.  If you saw the Early Show on CBS this morning you may have seen the interview with Ben Stiller about his new movie Tropic Thunder.  I started receiving emails on Monday about this movie.  Today I received an email with a press release from the president of the Piedmont Down Syndrome Support Network.  I thought I would share it with you.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 

PIEDMONT DOWN SYNDROME SUPPORT NETWORK CALLS FOR BOYCOTT OF “TROPIC THUNDER”

 

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. (August 13) - The Piedmont Down Syndrome Support Network, a group that provides information and support to parents of children with Down syndrome in the Piedmont area, today called for a boycott of DreamWorks’ new film, “Tropic Thunder.” 

 

The word “retard” (the r-word) is derogatory and insensitive to people who have intellectual disabilities.  It is just as offensive as the n-word, but does not receive the attention that the n-word receives.  The r-word has long been a harsh reminder of the ridicule and negative stigma directed toward people with intellectual disabilities, yet the word is becoming increasingly popular in today’s culture.  The movie “Tropic Thunder” maliciously targets people with intellectual disabilities by its use of the r-word and its portrayal of a person with intellectual disabilities. 

 

Piedmont Down Syndrome Support Network is calling for a boycott of “Tropic Thunder” to reach people who may not understand that use of the r-word is discriminatory and dehumanizing, and it perpetuates negative stereotypes. 

 

“Referring to an individual with cognitive difficulties as “retarded” is insensitive and demeaning to that person and their family. Using the r-word should not be tolerated regardless of setting.  We strongly encourage the public to refrain from viewing this offensive and damaging film”, said Wayne Kennedy, president of the Piedmont Down Syndrome Support Network. 

 

Piedmont Down Syndrome Support Network is joining many national and local organizations in its boycott, including Special Olympics, the National Down Syndrome Society, the National Down Syndrome Congress, and the Arc. 

 

A while back I posted my banana pudding recipe.  Well tomorrow night for Lifegroup you will get the opportunity to partake in this delicious desert.  Jonah and I made it today because it is always better the second day.  You don’t want to miss out!!  

PS: Lifegroup - Tomorrow - 6:30- @ The Yokeley House -Call/Email for directions

Before you read this please know that if you had been there you would have seen my face as red as a tomato.

We have been receiving at least one phone call a day from our mortgage company trying to get us to purchase additional life insurance.  So I have been checking the caller ID and stopped answering 1-800 numbers.  I noticed on our called ID today that there was a call from an 800 number yesterday.  I quickly tried to memorize the number so that I could call and find out who it was.  The kids were making a lot of noise and I heard someone talking in a low voice.  I hushed them so that I could hear.  This is what I heard, “We can live out your fantasy anywhere you like . . . on the bed or the floor.” Needless to say I quickly hung up the phone and I could feel the heat on my face.  My first thought was how did this service get my number and why are they calling our house.  I went back to look at the number on the caller ID and compare it to the number on redial.  I was one number off in the number I dialed.  I dialed a 9 instead of an 8.  When I called the correct number it was Sears.  They were calling in reference to my appointment on Wednesday for my washing machine.  

This just validates my point in a conversation Joey and I were having yesterday.  I was telling Joey that Joshua asked me yesterday morning when could he have his own phone.  Let me remind you he is only 5!  I told Joshua that he would never have a tv, computer or a phone in his room.  One off number on the phone or one off letter on the web address can you lead you down the wrong path!!  Parents, PLEASE take caution!

Our family attended the Summer Family Gathering for the Piedmont Down Syndrome Support Network tonight. We went to Town and Country Pool for a pool party and pizza. Now that Josiah is getting older I have been wanting to get more involved in the network. I have had a lot of questions this summer as we are reaching certain milestones in his growth. I had sent an email to the family hosting the gathering to RSVP. She didn’t recognize our name and learned that we are a new family to the network. She and three other moms searched me out and said you must be the new family. It was so comforting that they introduced themselves to us and made us feel so welcome. It was wonderful to be with other families tonight and be able to ask questions. We meet Malcom who is exactly one month younger than Josiah. It was neat to her their story and how the past 11 months have been for them raising him. The woman that hosted the event spent a lot of time with me. Her son is 8. The cool thing is that after learning of our boys names she asked me where we go to church. I told her the River Church. She said I know that name some how. She asked if we had a billboard advertisement. I told her maybe she had seen our yard signs. She asked who the pastor is and I told her Joey is the lead pastor. She said he looked familiar to her when she first saw him. She then realized she saw him on the story that Fox 8 did on our peep signs and that is how she knew the name of the church.

Joey and Joshua made friends with a 10 year boy with Down syndrome who is a triplet. He wanted Joey to do tricks in the pool with him. I think Joey got Joshua to do most of the tricks for him. I was really proud of Joey seeing him interact with this kid. This is the only family gathering that Joey has been to with us since the Buddy Walk last year. Josiah was only 5 weeks old when we went to that. I remember Joey left the event down in the dumps. There is such a wide range in disability with Down syndrome and at the walk we saw the wide range. It was such a blessing to see how Josiah has opened our hearts and torn down walls that we didn’t know we had until he came into our lives.

Tonight was a nice break from all our worries and heartache from the past week. It was nice to be ministered to instead of being the ones ministering. I am so thankful for Josiah because we are meeting some really neat families that we would have not met without him.

By the way: We have brochures for the Buddy Walk at Tanglewood on September 27. If you would like to walk with our family our give a donation let us know. The walk is a short fun walk so that everyone can walk.

During the service today Donny led us in a time of prayer. He offered us a chance to prayer either out loud or silently for whatever was on our hearts. When I was preparing lunch today I pulled out the last bag of chips. We buy the variety bags of chips and I noticed in the bottom of the bag there was a shiny silver package with the last bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. I looked on the outside of the variety bag and saw there was an advertisement that you could win cash for back to school. I opened our shiny silver package and we won $1. I was so excited that we actually won something. Joey then told me that he was praying for our finances during Donny’s prayer time and look the Lord gave us a $1. I know in the short term it’s just a $1 but in the big picture of things it all adds up.

It never ceases to amaze me how when I see God at work Satan isn’t too far behind. How fitting is it that Joey challenged the River on Sunday to get our put our lives in check with Jesus, for each of us to read the book of James, that the number of people coming through the doors of Confluence has increased this week and yet it seems our family has been under attack this week. We have had to face a big financial decision this week, learned that Joey’s guitar has had more damage done do it than we knew, my washing machine had its yearly service last week and on Thursday during a wash cycle it stopped with an error message, F-24 (the repair person can’t come out until Wed), Thursday night Jonah came down with the Croup (we had to do 2 steam showers in the middle of the night) and I woke up this morning with our phone cut off ( I had paid the phone bill yet our phone was cut off by mistake). I told Joey that I feel like with everything that has happened in the past few days that this trial we are in just won’t let up. Everyday there seems to be something else. We were talking tonight that this doesn’t feel hard. Josiah having open heart surgery was hard. This is emotional exhausting. I feel like a marathon runner who is trying to persevere and push through the pain to reach the finish line.

I finally sat down tonight to read the devotion for today from Elizabeth Elliot:

Where shall I ever find the strength I need to get through this experience, this ordeal, this day, this week? The answer is Take it! Take it from the grace which is ours already, in Christ Jesus.

“Here it is,” He is saying, “Will you have some?”

“Yes, thank You, Lord. I’ll take it.

Yes, thank You, Lord. I’ll take it.

So a door may have opened this evening.  We won’t find out until Saturday.  Please pray with us!